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iBook Lake of heaven 3 - MOONSHADOW BRIDGE

MOONSHADOW BRIDGE


With his thick eyebrows bobbing up and down, Kappei had taken on the look of a somewhat absent-minded bear. Then suddenly he stopped this motion, leaving his eyebrows set in a straight line. He blinked hard and opened his mouth, leaving it gaping wide open. Everyone wondered if he was about to cry. For a while no words came from his mouth. Sayuri had been Kappei’s savior, his Kannon-sama. It brought tears to the eyes of some of the women to see him look this way, trembling as if he were about to fall and his mouth just opening and closing. This was the same man who was known as “Porcupine,” the one who since the previous day had carried the dead body and helped with the preparations for the wake and led the procession with such energy. “I . . .” With a facial expression so crumpled that, strangely, it almost looked as if he were about to laugh, Kappei wiped his face with a hand towel. “Yeah, I was a wild monkey—and I saw Moonshadow Bridge fall in.” Suddenly everyone remembered: that time in the Year of the Horse when the waters broke through. Kappei’s father had 159 MOONSHADOW BRIDGE 3 gone to rescue an elementary school boy from the next village who had tried to cross the bridge. While Kappei’s father was carrying the child back in his arms the bridge had collapsed and they both had been washed away. The fire brigade found his happi work coat some ten kilometers down the river where it had been caught in an eddy behind a boulder, but the two bodies were never found. At that time Chiyomatsu, who’d been working for the fire department, had been piling sand bags around the foot of the bridge. He looked up and saw that little monkey of a boy Kappei climbing a big nettle tree along the riverbank, swaying in the torrential rain. The boy had been looking down on the river and for some reason he was playing with something like a lasso. “Who’s that kid?” Just as this voice called out, Kappei’s father ran out to the middle of the bridge that was shaking with the waves of the river. Probably he hadn’t noticed his own child on the top of the nettle tree. He dashed out to save the boy from the neighboring town. The boy had been staggering along, his umbrella blown away. Just at the moment he grabbed the boy in his arms, that part of the bridge broke off, as if it had melted away. It all happened in the blink of an eye. People still speak of it as the flood of the Year of the Horse. Kappei could never forget that scene, even in his sleep. What in the world had possessed him to climb that tree that day, as if to catch a glimpse of his father? That old nettle tree had remained standing on the banks by Moonshadow Bridge until the dam flooded it. After that day of the muddy floodwaters, even though it had been severely scooped out around its roots, when the waters cleared the tree had thrived like a great water plant. The fine hairs of its swaying roots harbored fish, such as eels and catfish. A great round tree-shelter, year after year it added healthy new leaves. CHAPTER 3 160 MOONSHADOW BRIDGE After Kappei’s father’s funeral, the adults had asked him about it in low voices. “What ever made you climb that tree at a time like that and coil that rope? You could’ve been washed away and drowned.” The boy had cast his eyes downward with a dejected expression and said nothing. He came to be thought of as a somewhat eccentric child. At the time of the flood his intention had been to try to catch a serow as it was crossing the river. From the stories about the countries of the world he’d been told by the medicine vendor who came once a year from Toyama, he’d heard that the antlers of a certain deer from the distant mountains of China were used to make a medicine. He’d been told that it was so expensive it would set your eyes on fire if you heard its price. There was no chance that ordinary folks could get it, even if they had a fatal illness. “Well, it’s something that royalty and aristocrats take. But folks like us—we might get to take a look at it, but it’s not something we can ever have. At most we might get some bear stomach medicine.” He had also heard that cows sometimes got washed away in times of flood but that wild boars and deer were good at crossing rivers. His mother had often been laid up in bed because of the “road of blood,” such that she was unable to get out and take part in public affairs. Many times it had been Kappei’s job to tell people, “I’m sorry, but my mother isn’t feeling well now so she won’t be able to attend tomorrow’s meeting.” “Onami-san isn’t feeling well. It must be the ‘road of blood’ again,” was what the women would always say. For Kappei, it had been hard to bear this talk. “That time I was trying to catch a serow to get its horns.” Only one time did he let out the reason he couldn’t say anything when he was questioned about it by the adults. The time 161 he fell from the dam construction site and Sayuri visited him and said a prayer for him all the men had thought there was little chance he’d survive. He was told that he’d been gored through his rear end by a steel rod and there was little hope he’d live. When they cut off the steel rod with a blowtorch he was still in convulsions and everyone said it looked like he was gone for sure. Sayuri, along with Oai-sama, had come to see him and had brought some apricots. The fruit, flecked with dots of crimson, were more beautiful than any in pictures. It seemed their special tartness worked an effect on his body. Truly Sayuri was nothing less than a Kannon-sama. Kappei had a wife and children, but any number of times he’d had to shake his head, trying to drive out the futile dream of how it might be to take care of Sayuri as an older wife—if, that was, he didn’t already have a wife and children. When he got better he went to them to express his thanks. When Oai-sama saw Kappei bowing his head and folding his hands she waved her hands saying, “I delivered you when you were born, so I have to see you through your whole life. It was just a little help. For you to recover from such a bad injury it must have been your dead father who helped you out the most. You’d better go pay a visit to his grave, don’t you think?” Being spoken to in this way, the words had just slipped from his mouth. “That time when I climbed the tree—I was looking for a serow crossing the river . . . When Father was washed away I couldn’t do anything to help.” Oai-sama, seemingly surprised, had said “Ah, that time,” and gazed at Kappei’s head for a while. “A serow? Why was that?” “For the horns. I wanted to use them as medicine for my mother.” CHAPTER 3 162 MOONSHADOW BRIDGE “Ah—deer horns.” She heaved a big sigh and looked at Sayuri as if she were gazing into her own heart. Oai-sama had great affection for the two of them. “I clearly remember the words I heard when you were born. Your father came running to meet me, carrying a bamboo dipper. When I asked him what he was doing with the dipper he answered with a concerned look, ‘I have to get some hot water to fill the wash basin. The water hasn’t boiled yet. Hurry—the baby’s coming.’ He grabbed my hand and pulled me along. Without even putting on my apron I ran to Moonshadow Bridge. You had a good head of black hair and a strong body.” As soon as Kappei heard the words “Moonshadow Bridge,” the sight of his father being swept away returned and his eyes started to well up with tears. The village gong had been sounding and the mountains and the land were being shaken by the torrential rains. Adults were running about and screaming out loud. The fields and forests were hidden by a rain that looked like smoke. The village had taken on a completely different appearance from usual. “Don’t you go outside!” his father had yelled sternly as he pulled on his fire brigade coat and ran out of the house into the downpour. Kappei had followed after—making sure he stayed out of sight, hiding behind the pomegranate tree of the water god. Around that time, Kappei had made a lasso and amused himself in the shed by playing imaginary games of catching boars and badgers. Often, families of boars and badgers would cross over Moonshadow Bridge. If a lone young boar came along it was easy to catch, but when the boars were out with their parents they charged along and it could be dangerous. If you caught a young badger and all went well you could bring it up with the dogs and cats. Probably Kappei’s hunting instincts 163 had already been shaped during his earlier days when he’d played Tarzan swinging across the ravines on the wild wisteria vines, but these instincts were really called into play that day when he saw his father go off. Certainly there had been a connection to the serow’s horn. But what really spurred him on had been a vaguer instinct. He had taken pride in being the best at tree climbing. The adults were working with all their might piling up sandbags. He too had wanted to do something to help out. Seeing the muddy waters swirling about, he had gone out full of youthful enthusiasm to Moonshadow Bridge to take a look. He brought along his rope. Would a serow come? There was one with horns he’d seen at sunset standing at the top of the cliff above Kazura Valley. The waves of the river were striking at the girders of the bridge. In his dreams he sometimes saw the scene of his father going after the child from the next village, as if the picture were being replayed from a movie in slow motion. He had been caught up in the excitement of the moment. Stepping firmly on the branches of the nettle tree he had thought of being swept away in the raging current of muddy red water. He had also felt he might be hung upside down, suspended from a cord from the sky. When the adults yelled at him so sternly and he turned briefly toward them he caught sight of his father running. And then, in an instant, the bridge had given way, carried away by the swirling red torrent. The rope had fallen from his hands. Thoughts of the story of that time still tugged at his mind. It was hard for him to explain his feelings about running out after his father. Didn’t it seem too unbelievable, even for a child, to say it was because he was hoping to catch a serow crossing the river in the midst of a flood? And even more so, to say he was trying to get the horns to make medicine? Wasn’t it really CHAPTER 3 164 MOONSHADOW BRIDGE because he’d been so caught up in wanting to be out among the adults and see what was happening with the flood? The men of the fire brigade had gathered about the foot of the tree with angry looks. They motioned him to get down on their shoulders and five or six of them grabbed his legs. What had he really intended to do with the lasso that time? Had he really planned to try to catch a serow? In times when it looked like there would be flooding, the normally outgoing man known as “Porcupine” would become silent. He would still go about his duties in checking on the water, but his face looked troubled. Often he would find okera bugs swimming about. Bending over to see, he’d place them in the palm of his hand and take a good look. In times of floods these insects would appear along the edges of the rice fields. Probably when the holes they lived in became flooded they would swim away to escape. As they swam they moved their heads about with such vigor. He thought of how he himself at that time had been like one of those insects. At the time when the water was first let into the dam, these same okera bugs had been mixed in along with all the other insects of the mountains, covering the surface of the water. Along with the other villagers, he had often gone to stare in amazement at the town as it was submerged by the water. Oaisama and Sayuri had been among those who watched. What had once been mountain forests, terraced gardens, and pathways along the hillside were gradually turned into the banks of a lake. Countless insects floated about on those banks. That day when Kappei bent over to look, he saw the tops of the trees in the bottom of the water. He saw the trees of Osubo-san’s woods and the enormous Japanese bread tree as well as the fateful big nettle tree on the deep banks of the river. He imagined that his footprints still remained on that prominent tree. He had scooped up some okera bugs into his 165 hand from the grasses by the river where they grew and showed them to Sayuri, who stood by his side. The okera squirmed about for a while in the palm of Kappei’s hand until, as if surprised, they moved their heads and tails about busily and dropped onto the grass with a thud. With the squirmy sensation lingering in his hand, Kappei had felt there was something loveable about those little insects. A smile flickered on Sayuri’s face. He noticed her comparing him with the insects in his hand. Kappei had been touched by her gentleness. Meetings had been held frequently about the matter of repairing the bridge. His mother Onami and his grandmother, who was still living at the time, took turns in attending the meetings. A system was set up whereby each household was to be assessed for its “fair share” of contribution. “Since Kappei’s still a child and his father’s gone, couldn’t we be exempt from the assessment?” After the meetings, his mother and grandmother would always sit by the fire, feeling lonely and hanging their heads. The villagers who came to the first O-bon ceremony after his father’s death had talked of the subject. “At least if it’s a stone bridge it won’t be washed away.” Since his father had lost his life in attempting to rescue someone his household was granted an exemption from the payments for the new bridge. The one who had proposed building a stone bridge was the elder Chiyomatsu. But in the end, as it turned out, the plan had never been realized. The reasons given were: not enough stonemasons, and probably not enough money. Escorting his mother, Kappei had been present at that meeting. The idea of a stone bridge had left a strong impression on him. At the age of fifteen or sixteen he had gone to work in the mountains and he had been a laborer here and there and so he CHAPTER 3 166 MOONSHADOW BRIDGE had begun to gain some experience out in the world. When he saw the magnificent stone double-arched bridge known as the “Spectacle Bridge” in the Mt. Aso highlands, it made a deep impression on him. Why was it that listening to the fire that burned Sayuri’s body had brought back to mind those childhood scenes? It was not as if he’d been thinking constantly for all these years of Moonshadow Bridge and its connection to his father’s death. And the Isara River and the big old nettle tree that lay submerged beneath the waters of the dam—along with the meeting that night and the horns of the serow—they were all phantom visions. He shook his head as if in disbelief. He was recalling his childhood days. The faces of the old ones who had sometimes scolded him and sometimes given him affection—they all came back clearly. The smiling face of the toothless old man with the cane who climbed up to the fields to pick for them those bright red tomatoes that ripened in the scorching summer sun. The beads of sweat running down old Rokusuke who chased him with a pole when he’d climbed one of his pear trees to steal fruit. The young girls returning from the city, the beggars and the performers who came and went along Utazaka Hill. Lead on by some unknown prompting, Kappei talked on and on. “I think we should rebuild Moonshadow Bridge.” Oshizu was quick to tease Kappei about this, and here and there a laugh broke out among the group, but soon afterwards they fell into silence. When the rain let up a bit, the sound of the burning body became particularly noticeable. Suddenly, cutting through this mood Ohina said, “Last night I dreamed of a bridge.” Everyone knew that Ohina sometimes had dreams that told of some truth. 167 “It wasn’t a dream of the bridge that washed away, it was a dream of that old rope suspension bridge that was Moonshadow Bridge way back when.” Kappei didn’t know about the days of a hanging rope bridge. Chiyomatsu pursed his lips, drew a puff of smoke and laid his pipe on top of the table. Even in this age of cigarettes the old man would simply cut them up and transfer the tobacco to his little pipe to smoke. Masahiko found it somehow touching to see how country folks treated tobacco. He had no idea how the people who’d been separated from Amazoko Village had lived most of their lives, but he could see that they still got together from time to time at funerals and exchanged news. He realized that he wasn’t beyond being overpowered by a person like Oshizu, but he also wondered if he wasn’t being drawn in and charmed by all of them. With this thought in mind he cracked a wry smile. The world was more profound than what he’d read about in the books he had on his desk. Somehow it seemed that just seeing Kappei’s grin was enough to soften his heart. A while back Omomo had whispered to her mother, “Sayuri was a spirit of the water.” But, he wondered, what is my spirit? Among these people it seems death is not the cessation of everything. They say our generation is one of deprivation and loss, and that we take nihilism as a fashion. But it seems these people of Amazoko, who’ve lost their village, have resurrected the real meaning of existence. n The windblown rain didn’t let up. The spray striking against the eaves created a fog that crept inside the room through the cracks in the entryway. Everyone drew their chairs together and huddled around the furnace in the crematory. In front of it was a large concrete CHAPTER 3 168 MOONSHADOW BRIDGE stand on which Sayuri’s coffin had been placed. A brief sutra was read and the final words of parting were said. After the cremation was finished the remains would be placed on the stand again and the bones would be removed with tongs. “Looks like we’re in for it now. That rain’s really pouring down out there.” Several people hung around the window and peered outside. The crematory was set back in the woods on a gentle slope that opened out onto the plain of fields through which the funeral procession had passed. The rice plants, just ripening and turning color, were bent and shaken by the winds that blasted down from the hilltops. In front of the crematory the winds whipped against the roots of the trees, forming sudden updrafts that blew the rain back upwards again. “We can’t go back in weather like this.” “Well, it should stop in a while.” As the sounds of the rainstorm periodically swelled and then diminished, the talk among the group lulled and then resumed along with it. The flames charged the air with sounds. Trying to remove the encrusted dregs from his pipe, Chiyomatsu knocked its bowl against the swollen joint of his middle finger. His movement seemed strange to Masahiko. After striking the pipe several times there was still some fire left in the ashes he had removed. Unperturbed, the old man calmly held the live coals in his hand and then after a while rolled them into a lump and dropped it by his foot, where he finally stamped it out with his sandal. His hakama was open, showing his feet, which in their white tabi socks looked like those of a classic joruri doll. Glancing down on the spent ashes the old man bit into his pipe, making sucking noises in the bowl. Taking it from his mouth and blinking rapidly he called out. “Ohina-san.” 169 Ohina, who had been absorbed in listening to the sounds of the burner, raised her head and spoke. “A long time ago, Moonshadow Bridge, it was a rope suspension bridge.” Several people nodded their heads. “Well, last night in my dream I saw that suspension bridge.” With the driving rain pelting down still harder people were worrying about getting back. Masahiko noticed expressions of relief settle over their faces as they listened to Ohina talk. “Back in the days of the old suspension bridge there was Oak Mountain on the far side.” Chairs squeaked as the group drew closer and people murmured in agreement that there had been an Oak Mountain over there. “There aren’t many of us left now who can remember that suspension bridge.” Hearing this, Chiyomatsu urged Ohina to continue. “What sort of dream was it?” “What sort? Just a dream.” “Your dreams often turn out true.” “Not really. Most of them don’t mean much at all. In my dream I couldn’t get across the bridge.” “Well, in the end that bridge broke and fell in. That’s how it ended up.” “Right, it collapsed finally, and with those people on it.” “Those people?” “Yes, those people. In my dream.” “There was a pilgrim with a child, wasn’t there?” “Yes—my dream was about what happened after that.” To the listeners it felt as if their eyes were being turned inward to search for something. Then Oshizu broke in. “That time when the suspension bridge broke I went to take a look too. I was still young and it was in the fall. Part of the bridge had given way and was hanging down. And then for CHAPTER 3 170 MOONSHADOW BRIDGE some reason, on the far bank a group of monkeys was playing about at the entrance to the bridge; taking turns entering it, climbing up and down the severed part and looking around. It was something no humans could have done. “They romped about on the dangling section, playing with it like a toy, as if it were laden with grapes. “The monkeys were on the far bank and the people were on the near side and they were both watching each other. “For the monkeys, even if the bridge fell in it was no problem. They could go back and forth across the valley without any trouble at all. “For the humans to cross, they’d have to take off their clothing. In summer you could do it, but . . .” Apparently sensing the need to work the conversation back to the main topic, Oshizu stopped herself and turned to ask Ohina in a formal tone of voice, “And then what happened in your dream?” “Well, I was on the near side of the bridge and I started singing that song. The going is all right But we know not the return In the middle of the bridge Don’t look back Throw in a rice cake If you haven’t got a rice cake Throw in a hairpin If you haven’t got that either Throw in a baby If you haven’t got a baby Then throw yourself in “In the old days we used to sing that song when we were rocking infants and playing with them. Crossing over a rope 171 suspension bridge probably wasn’t the best time for singing a song like that, but in my dream that’s what came out. I sang it with all my heart. And as I sang, the leaves in the valley turned to the red colors of fall. It was so beautiful. It was a brocade pattern, different from any foliage I’d ever seen before. And then—the fallen suspension bridge slowly came back to life, rising up and extending itself back across to the near side. I wondered what on earth could be going on. That suspension bridge was the guardian spirit of Amazoko. It was the guardian of that flooded stalactite cavern. “That suspension bridge was made of vines cut from the violet wisteria that hung from the big oak trees and of the white wisteria that hung from the cassia trees by the prayer rock on Mt. Ontake. I immediately started singing a soothing song. The landscape was so incredibly beautiful. The area about my feet turned completely black. I felt as if I were about to be sucked away into it, so I sang out. A blaze of color flashed from the ripened persimmon tree on Utazaka Hill and I thought to myself—that must be someone’s life passing on. In the evening When the wind fills the valley I miss someone In the mist A single ripe persimmon A single remaining life “Suddenly, the bridge of wisteria vines extended itself to the near side. The fog thickened and thinned, again and again. And while this was happening the ripened persimmon tree I’d just seen disappeared—even though just a moment ago it had been a brilliant vermilion red. It was gone. Whose life could it have been that went out, I wondered. Suddenly it had vanished. CHAPTER 3 172 MOONSHADOW BRIDGE “It seemed that someone from another place had come to Amazoko. Perhaps it might have been a wandering yamabushi mountain priest. Or it might have been an itinerant blind woman musician. Hadn’t there been any sound? If it had been an experienced blind musician, before crossing the bridge she’d have played a piece on the biwa and sung a song to let people know she wasn’t someone suspicious. Or if it had been a yamabushi mountain priest, he’d have given a blast on his conch shell to announce his passing through. I tried to listen for a sound. It seemed it must have been a traveler who’d met misfortune along the way. When the light of the persimmon tree went out amidst the fog I imagined it must have been for someone who’d become an offering. And so this happened because I sang that song. “Right in front of my eyes I saw proof that the severed bridge had come back to life. There really was such a being, the Lord Guardian of the stalactite cavern. In the past, it had lived in the belly of the mountains. Sometimes it came and went about, and it might get hungry. In the daytime it let the monkeys play about and it let the people pass through. And in the middle of the night it let the creatures of the dark pass by too. But in the evenings, the fog rolled in, and at those times it couldn’t be helped if on occasion someone who passed by along with the crabs might become an offering to the guardian spirit of the bridge. “On foggy nights when it had the chance, the Guardian would cross over the suspension bridge, slip into the village, and look down from the top of Utazaka Hill. And the people who looked at Moonshadow Bridge were branded with the mark of plum petals. The guardian of the rope bridge would leave a mark that showed they belonged to Amazoko Village. I’ve seen the marks myself. “And when Masahito-sama left the village, I went to see him off. I watched him turn back to look from the other side of 173 Moonshadow Bridge. In my dream it was a moonlit night and the fog had rolled in. Masahiko-san, I went to see your grandfather off. There was a mark of plum petals on his neck— wasn’t there?” Masahiko was confused. Suddenly he recalled images of his grandfather’s figure from behind—watering the trees in the garden, or when he was being taken to the mental hospital, or sitting beneath the ginkgo tree, or doing other such things— but he never had a chance to notice whether or not he had such a mark. It didn’t seem that Ohina was expecting an answer from him. “Moonshadow Bridge was the guardian of the stalactite cavern of the drowned village of Amazoko. That was the guardian spirit of Amazoko.” Excited expressions lit up people’s faces and hushed voices rose up here and there. “I too cross that bridge in my dreams.” “I forget it in the daytime, but when I sleep I return in my dreams.” “Me too. When I dream it’s always about Amazoko.” The voices were soft but clear. Their sounds were lovely. Masahiko thought; this is the first time I’ve ever heard such voices. The man tending the furnace opened the door of the crematory room, wiped away his sweat and took a look at what was going on in the waiting room. He nodded his head as if indicating that he well understood what was happening. Then he walked over to the window to look out at the rain. Her eyes still fixed on this man, Oshizu appeared to be sunk deeply in thought as she spoke. “Everyone’s talking of how they forget the sunken village during the daytime, but when they sleep at night they reCHAPTER 3 174 MOONSHADOW BRIDGE member it. Now, because of Ohina’s dream, it’s coming back to me. The women stop by my place and they’ve told the story. “A long time ago, on a rainy, windy day there was a pilgrim carrying a baby on her back who’d come to cross the suspension bridge. In crossing, she slipped and fell in. According to another person who happened to arrive there about the same time, the bridge was swaying about on that day. After considering whether or not he should try to cross he decided it was no day to take chances. Just as he was turning back, he saw the pilgrim starting to cross from the opposite side. Thinking it was too dangerous to try to cross with a baby, he looked on nervously. And then, just as he’d feared, he saw her foot slip. She flailed about for a moment as if she were swimming. He called out, but in an instant she fell. He ran to the town to tell the people and everyone rushed to the riverbank and looked but they couldn’t find the mother or child. Before long, however, they located the body of the mother. But there was no baby. The person who told them about it said it was definitely a young woman on a pilgrimage and that she’d been carrying a baby on her back, and so they searched for a baby. But had she really been carrying a baby? Or had it been a trick of the eyes? And it seemed that in the time it would take to search, the baby would probably already be carried out to Oki no Miya. While they were talking of abandoning the search, the storm let up a bit and they turned back, saying it’s about time to build a new bridge. “An energetic fellow took the lead and the others followed along behind. Then he came back, shifting about awkwardly, so everyone assumed the rope bridge had fallen, as they’d feared. Then the man spoke out, gesturing with his hands and feet. “‘There’s a baby—I saw it! Over there!’ “‘A baby? Are you sure? Where was it?’ 175 “Everyone said how wonderful it was that he’d found the baby. The man sank to the ground, sat and pointed toward the bridge. “‘At the entrance to the bridge—the guardian spirit, he made a basket cradle and he was looking after the baby.’ “‘A basket? How could a basket have gotten there?’” As the questioning continued they began to understand. What the man was saying was that, amidst the wind and rain, the guardian of the stalactite cave—who sometimes took on the form of a wisteria vine bridge—had appeared. There he’d shown his true nature by coiling himself around the entrance to the bridge, and in that coil he’d carefully placed the baby and was rocking it. So according to his story, it seemed that the baby had been put in a cradle and was being taken care of. “‘The baby looked like it was in good sprits. It was clapping its hands and sucking its fingers. Really, it’s true. You have to go and see. And there was also a strange grating sound. The guardian god’s scales were opening and closing as it chased away flies. Its scales were making a grating, rubbing sound.’ “As he went on like this the people were greatly surprised and they all went to look. By the roots of a big cedar tree at the entrance to the bridge, a lovely baby was sleeping. They couldn’t see any guardian spirit. All that was there was a nice cradle made of susuki reeds and dwarf bamboo leaves. But when they looked over on the other side, the rope coils of the bridge appeared to be flapping about, like a skin being cast off by a giant serpent or dragon.” One person who had been listening closely to Oshizu’s story spoke out in a reserved voice. “Well, in recent years it’s mostly stayed back inside the stalactite cavern and hardly comes out. But sometimes people coming and going along Utazaka catch a glimpse of it. A few have even seen its tail.” CHAPTER 3 176 MOONSHADOW BRIDGE “And by any chance, was that baby Oai-sama?” The atmosphere grew more intimate. Everyone could recall that story. Ohina turned her head slowly and looked at Masahiko. “Your grandfather Masahito’s grandmother lived to be over a hundred years old, and in her old age she took in that baby and raised it. She named her Ai, so she came to be called Oai-sama. She said it was a child who had been entrusted to her by the Lord of Amazoko. She gave it her best care in bringing it up.” Masahiko had thought this was just going to be the telling of Ohina’s dream of the night before, but the story became so interwoven with the stories of Chiyomatsu and Oshizu that he had no idea where the dream had merged with the others’ stories. It was said that the stalactite cave now lay at the bottom of the dammed-up lake. Judging from photographs, it seemed the stalactite cave wasn’t a very comforting place. The cavern twisted its way along, issuing from deep within the belly of the mountain. From its roof hung countless limestone stalactites, in the shapes of icicles and breasts. From them, drops of underground water slowly dripped down. Flowing through the cave was a river that made a faint sound. Could there have been any fish in it? It is thought that even today, deep down in the earth some of the original forms of life are still alive. But for Masahiko, born and raised in the city, this thought gave him an uneasy feeling. How did the first humans who entered that cavern feel—going in there alone, without even having lights? It was not hard to imagine how people could have thought that in such a cave there must be a guardian spirit who inhabited it and governed the mountains and water. It seemed the old people who gathered for Sayuri’s funeral procession still believed in the protective god of Amazoko Village, even if they didn’t actually see its form. They 177 spoke of how, from time to time, it would emerge from its dwelling place, change its body into the shape of a wisteria vine bridge and come down into the village and place the mark of plum blossom petals on the backs of the villagers’ necks as a birthmark. Masahiko could hardly believe it, but he found himself wanting to touch the back of his own neck with his hand. Piecing together the threads of the stories so far, it seemed that both Sayuri and Oai, who had brought her up, had come from other villages. According to the stories he’d heard over the past few days from Ohina and the other villagers, this woman Oai, who had been a midwife, was also thought of as a person who had assumed a sort of divine nature. She had come into the village as a baby, entrusted to it by the patron spirit of Amazoko. Masahito’s grandmother—in other words Masahiko’s great-great-grandmother—had taken her in. Thus her role in looking after babies had come to her from birth, leading to her becoming a midwife; the work she’d carried out faithfully throughout her long life. As for her relationship to Sayuri, the newborn baby of a wayfarer who died as she was passing through the village, everyone imagined that Oai-sama regarded her as her own child. And now Sayuri, who had taken over Oai-sama’s duties, was dead. n “The bones haven’t cooled completely yet, but with weather like this . . .” The attendant opened the partition door and removed Sayuri’s still-warm bones from the hearth. Everyone got up together. No one spoke as a wave of heat spread out around the platform. “Here are the tongs. Would the closest family member remove the bones please?” The attendant spoke in a low voice, probably trying to avoid sounding too business-like. CHAPTER 3 178 MOONSHADOW BRIDGE Everyone glanced at each other uneasily and no one came forward to pick up the large chop stick-like implements. Not only was there no closest relative, there wasn’t even a single blood relative among them. The voices of Chiyomatsu and Ohina could be heard, expressing hesitation. Then there was a request for the woman from the temple. Being called upon as the woman of the temple, the young woman waved her hand in refusal. “Oh I really couldn’t. I have almost no relationship with the deceased. The funeral was another matter, but this, I . . .” With a chuckle, Oshizu remarked, “Funerals are business matters too, you know,” and then for moment there was silence. “Well in that case . . .” Chiyomatsu picked up the implements and continued, “I’m not a relative, but seeing as I’m the oldest here, I suppose . . .” The worker continued, “Would you start with the leg bones please, and place them in the urn in a sitting position. The two legs first, and then the shins, the kneecaps, and the thighbones. They’ve burned very cleanly, I see. She was still young. For forty-two or so, these bones are quite beautiful. Here are the hipbones. They’re a bit heavy, so would someone with strong hands pick them up please? Isn’t there anyone who will lend a hand . . ? Well then, it looks like I’ll have to do it myself. There’s a knack to it.” The attendant seemed particularly concerned that the justcremated bones be placed into the urn in precisely the correct fashion. Following his instructions, silently, they carefully picked up the bones and placed them into the urn. “Hmm, now where’s the Adam’s apple?” He raked through the bones, among the ashes, with the tongs. “Do women have Adam’s apples too?” someone asked. 179 “Well, they’re not so noticeable, but they have them. But I can’t seem to find it here. Seems it’s missing. The body burned well. These bones are very cleanly done. Sometimes the bones get all blackened.” Oshizu looked at Kappei across from her, trying to avoid touching the tools. His expression seemed different from before. His big eyes were blinking and it seemed as if his body had shrunk, as if he’d bottled himself up in a transparent jar. It seemed to Oshizu that her dream of the night before had proven true. Last night Kappei had appeared in the moonlit valley, transformed into a crab. He’d been naked, like a crab that’s just shed its shell. Did that show the form that he was born into, or did it point to the form he would take in the world to come? In any case, seeing Kappei, who was normally so manly, in the moonlight on the banks of the Isara River looking thin from having shed his shell—that had been quite a surprise. Whatever wish could this shedding of the shell have been expressing? In the midst of her dream Oshizu had thought for a while and then spoken. “It can’t be helped. Since you’ve shed your whole shell, right down to the tips of your claws and eyeballs, you’ll have to go on with that soft body and crawl your way through the valley below Moonshadow Bridge and make it to the village of Amazoko.” “Is that Oshizu’s voice?” Kappei the crab asked, his voice shuddering. “Look, I’ve just shed the covering over my eyes and so my eyes are still watery. Even if you tell me to go to Amazoko, my eyes haven’t formed properly yet.” “Is that so? Your eyes are still watery and unformed? Well, there are times it’s better to have no eyes at all. It can help get you along in the world by not seeing things that are better not seen.” CHAPTER 3 180 MOONSHADOW BRIDGE Telling him to come a bit closer, Oshizu reached out and placed her palm on Kappei the crab. Then with her fingertips she stroked the horns on the right and left sides, where his eyes stuck out. “Look here! They’ve melted away on both the right and the left. You don’t need eyes any more!” She spoke with a gentle voice and released the crab into the water. Kappei the crab skittered upstream along the Isara River at the bottom of the lake. It appeared to require quite an effort to go upstream since the force of the river was powerful. “I’m counting on you—with your water-eyes. Look, behind you everyone’s following. Go back to the sunken village. If you were still in human form you wouldn’t be able to get there. But as a crab, now you can go.” Oshizu had leaned over, calling out as she watched. The crab Kappei, with all the others following along after him, had pushed on forward, flopping along and thrashing through the water plants that stuck to them, time after time, making their way upward along the water pathways of Amazoko. Oshizu had begun relating the tale of last night’s dream to the silent crowd when all the bones had been taken out. A while back everyone had spoken of how they seemed to forget about dreams during the daytime, but when they slipped into bed they could return to Amazoko in their dreams and meet with the people of long ago once again. “At the bottom of the river there were water plants. In their midst was a beautiful white plum tree, still in blossom, swaying gently in the water. You can’t get to the bottom of the lake in human form. Thanks to Kappei’s changing into a crab he was able to go there. That’s the way I get back to Amazoko too.” For a while everyone’s talk was about the dream. “Your grandmother, has she been showing up in your dreams these days?” 181 “Well, not in mine, but she’s been in yours, hasn’t she? And she didn’t have any bad things to say, did she?” “Yes, it was a good dream all right. Over by Koushin’s place I was carrying the washing and your grandmother brought some pomegranates. She took them out of her bag and they had a nice color. She gave me some and told me, ‘These fruits will give you a long life. Take some to your mother.’” “Oh, they were from that pomegranate tree, were they? That old tree by the washing place was a real old one. It had such beautiful fruit. It was grandmother’s joy to take them to people who weren’t feeling well. So she went to see you, did she?” “The pomegranate tree and the washing place are both at the bottom of the lake now.” “But it’s good you had that sort of dream. My grandmother used to shout at folks, and even in dreams I imagine her voice gets pretty loud. But if you had that kind of dream, she must be all right. It’s good to hear.” “It certainly was a nice dream. Her voice was just the same as when she was alive. It was good to see her in such spirits.” “It sure brings back old times. Now it’s only in dreams that we can see those people.” In their dreams they saw visions of people digging clams, and building the stone walls about Amemiya Shrine, and passing through the valley of vines carrying firewood on their backs, and gathering mushrooms. And the women were filling bags with the fruit of the silvervine that covered the valley. “And between my dreams too they’re working. And there’s no pain and they’re happy. And when I wake up I’m not sad. It’s strange; even though I can’t really go back to Amazoko I go there in dreams. I want to go back again.” “There’s a song from way back called “the path of dreams.” It was Chiyomatsu who brought the conversation to a conclusion. Oshizu nodded; it was owing to Chiyomatsu’s advanced CHAPTER 3 182 MOONSHADOW BRIDGE years that he had such composure. There could be no doubt that Kappei’s appearing in the dream in the form of a crab and shedding his shell had signified that he had some role to carry out. And that crab—there in the valley of Moonshadow Bridge, back in the old days when it had been a hanging bridge of vines—its trembling must have been on account of Kappei’s carrying the souls of all those who wanted to return to Amazoko. And if one were to follow the course of the river along the valley that passed beneath the bridge of hanging vines, wouldn’t it be possible to walk on the pathway into the village that had been closed off by the dam? Kappei, who had returned to life after falling from the dam construction site, possessed the power to carry people’s souls. Hadn’t he also been serving as the guardian spirit of both Oai and Sayuri? Oshizu believed it was her praying from the bottom of her heart that had caused him to appear as a crab. And if Kappei took on the form of a crab, she believed he could travel to where the guardian of the cave lived. Everyone, she thought, has been asking how to get back to the village at the bottom of the lake—but haven’t Kappei and Ohina and I found pathways already? Oshizu’s eyes met those of Ohina, seated beside Kappei. Ohina nodded. A woman like her understood such things. It was Ohina who had first made a point of bringing up the talk of the dreams at this place. She glanced up at Kappei once again. Water appeared to be flowing in the midst of his eyes. “It’s because I stroked him with my finger in my dream that this big man’s eyes have now become like the eyes of a trembling crab. Go on, go on, with those eyes.” Urging him on, she gazed at the storm outside. When Ohina began telling the stories of her dreams, Masahito also started to feel that he was in a place where people returned 183 in dreams. It wasn’t only these two old women and Chiyomatsu—it seemed that the others too returned to the village at the bottom of the lake and met with all the people there. It seemed there was no border between their times of waking and those of dreaming. They could travel freely between both. That’s right, he thought; when grandfather was spending his time around the ginkgo at Nakano Station he must have been looking for a passageway back to this kind of world. Even right by that station where the trains and people passed by ceaselessly there was an entrance to the village beneath the lake. “What about these bones?” Chiyomatsu asked. He looked around, holding the container he’d been handed by the attendant. Omomo turned around with a surprised expression. The look in her eyes, peering into the urn of ashes, seemed to Masahiko so very gentle. To old Chiyomatsu, likely it held a deeper meaning. He looked at Omomo and asked, “Will you carry them?” “If you think it’s all right.” “Yes, you’re the best one to do it.” The ones who had handled the tongs looked on in silence at the faces of Omomo and the woman from the temple. “We’ll leave them at the temple for a time. Omomo will carry them and I’ll go with her.” The squeaking door blew open with a strong gust of wind and then quickly slammed shut again with a bang. The gust that had blown into the room brushed about the floor. As it passed over the stand it blew up a dark, smoke-like puff of the remaining ashes of Sayuri. All together, everyone gasped. “It looks like this isn’t going to let up. It’ll be getting dark. Are we going to go out and get soaked?” “Even if we get wet, let’s go. It can’t be helped.” “What about our mourning wear?” one of the women asked. CHAPTER 3 184 MOONSHADOW BRIDGE “That’s right, our mourning clothes. We have another funeral coming soon.” “I wonder if they’ll dry out by then.” And at that they all remembered that there was one more person who had died. The funeral of Jimpei, the village assembly member who had died in the horse stable fire, had been delayed on account of the autopsy performed on his body. Suddenly an agitated, uneasy feeling came over them. “We’ll be busy, so let’s get back soon.” “Right. We can’t just wait around here until morning for the storm to pass.” When the urn was handed to Omomo everyone stood up together. “Well let’s get moving, even if we’re going to get drenched.” And so, talking as they went, they set out into the midst of the wind and rain. Women and men alike hiked up the hems of their robes, tying them with towels and cloths. Several in front got caught by the wind as they set out along the path through the rice fields. Those same rice plants that had looked so lush when the group passed through earlier in the day were now being tossed and flailed about by the wind. Kappei and Masahiko held back the door, which looked as if it were about to be blown away. The women made their way out. Last among them was Oshizu. Before going out she looked up at Kappei and whispered, “It’s thanks to you that we know the way to Amazoko.” Kappei smiled back at her. When she left, Oshizu tied up the black train of her kimono. Showing beneath her white undergarments, surprisingly, was the sight of a bright red sash. As she walked briskly behind the others, her thin old legs kicked up the red cloth. Omomo, holding the urn of ashes in her arms, turned about, faced the rear and took a step back. Her hair blew up and played about her face. Then she turned again 185 and headed off once more. For some reason, Masahiko was startled by the sight of her. All about the rice fields, scarecrows made of the feathers of dead crows were being tossed about by the wind as if they were dancing. Seeing the people in their drenched black kimonos walking amidst the feathers of the dead crows flailing all about, Masahiko had the feeling of being caught up in a medieval world of sorcerers and magic. An opening appeared in the rain clouds. For a brief moment the sun broke through and lit up the rice fields in bright green. And then in an instant it grew dark again. Kappei muttered, “Looks like the rice is going to be spoiled again this year. And it had been ripening so nicely.” Masahiko was at a loss as to how to reply to such talk. “Do you grow rice?” “Well, I don’t have any fields myself but when we get these storms I worry about how the rice is doing.” Another gust of wind, one that seemed it might blow the door down, blasted away. As the two of them held back the door, Masahiko remembered something. Back when they had come through the fields, Ohina had remarked as she looked at the rice, “If Sayuri were still alive she’d have been so happy to see the colors of this rice.” It seemed that Kappei too must have been thinking of Sayuri in this way. “Masahiko, this isn’t just any old wind, you know.” As the two of them held the door shut they realized that the attendant was there on the inside, waiting. “This one looks different from the usual storms. I think you’d better take care in getting home,” said the voice from within. Kappei called out in a big voice, “You okay in there?” and knocked on the door in a solicitous manner. “If this place is damaged, everything will come to an end.” CHAPTER 3 186 MOONSHADOW BRIDGE “All right then, but Chikazawa-san, Chikazawa-san.” With something apparently on his mind, Kappei knocked harder on the door this time and called to the attendant. “Sorry, but I forgot something. There’s something important I forgot. Could you let me in for just a minute?” He turned and looked at Masahiko. “Could you wait just a moment? Just hold the door so it doesn’t blow off. I’ll be back soon.” Apologizing again, he entered with a hushed silence and placed his hands carefully on a small box covered with a white handkerchief. “These last ashes of Sayuri . . . It’s just too much.” His lips pursed in silence, he glanced around uneasily. But then, spotting a nylon wrapping sheet covered with polka dots, fluttering in the wind where it had caught on a branch, he carefully wrapped it around the small white box to protect it from getting wet. Then Masahiko noticed Kappei, bent over, clutching the grass with one hand and breathing heavily into the ground. The wide shoulders of his heavy kimono were blown back, flapping in the wind. It had only been the day before that Masahiko had met this warm-hearted man when he came upon the dead body of Sayuri near the dam. Kappei stood up, seemingly having forgotten about Masahiko, and started to walk off into the rain. Masahiko followed, noticing the splotches of mud covering Kappei’s formal hakama leggings. n When they arrived at the temple a young, cool-eyed priest was waiting for them. He invited Masahiko into the room with his family. He told them he was succeeding to the position as the main priest here and that he had just returned from Honzan, the head temple, where he had completed his training. 187 In the priests’ quarters, the people who had returned from the crematory were changing out of their wet mourning clothes. Exchanging greetings while they looked up at the condition of the sky, they seemed to be preparing to leave for home. Judging from their familiar manner in saying their good-byes, it seemed that this temple was used not only for funerals, but that it was also a place where the people of the old village of Amazoko, who were normally separated, met for important discussions. This was evident from their friendly, relaxed voices. From the younger priest’s greeting, it seemed that he had already been told about Masahiko. “You’ve come a long way to get back here. I hear you spread your grandfather’s ashes by yourself. I’m sorry I couldn’t say a prayer with you.” Not knowing how to reply, Masahiko lowered his head in confusion. The elderly priest, seeing him in this state, opened an old hand-stitched book and showed it to him. On it, in bold black ink characters was written, “Record of Contributors to the Rebuilding of Joko Temple.” It was dated the third month of the twelfth year of Meiji. “The temple was burned down during the Seinan War. This is the record book from the time when the contributions were made for the rebuilding. There were donations from many people, but if you look here you can see that the name of your great-great-grandfather, ‘Aso Mikihiko,’ is written at the head of the list. “All the wood used in the temple—for the pillars of the hall of the Buddha, for the beams and rafters, the carved panels on the transom, the flooring in the inner sanctuary, the stairways, and elsewhere—it all came from the forests of the Aso family. That was about ten years into the Meiji Era. All the details are recorded here. If you take a look you can see for yourself. It was such excellent wood. These days, no matter how hard you CHAPTER 3 188 MOONSHADOW BRIDGE look, you won’t find anything like it. Fortunately, when Amazoko was flooded, the temple was outside the flood zone so it escaped destruction. Now people from other villages continue to come here to worship the Buddha. “I heard from Ohina and the others about your return. “The dam was built during Masahito’s time here and after it was finished he went off to Tokyo. Once in a while some word of him reached us back here, but since he stopped contacting us we hesitated to try reaching him. So the other day when we heard the rumor that you had come and spread his ashes by the dam, well it really was quite a sad surprise. “It seems your coming here and what happened to Sayuri had some fated connection. If you take things back to their roots, Oai-sama, who brought up Sayuri, was connected to your family. In any case, the past has returned and now a grandson has returned to this temple that’s remained here in memory of the Aso family. “It’s weighed heavily on us, thinking we couldn’t do anything, but now at last the day has come when we can offer prayers for him. “You’ve made quite a trip coming here. Since there’s nothing left of the old Silk Estate or of the land around it the only thing that remains is this temple. We’ve been waiting and hoping we might be able to perform the funeral rites for him as soon as you returned from the crematorium.” From the side, his plumpish wife added, “For ages now it’s been said that the rebuilding of the temple was made possible by the Aso family. We have always hoped we would be able to meet the relatives. We greatly appreciate your coming. “And both last night at the wake and this morning too, all the old people have been saying they feel as if Masahito has come back to life and the old days have returned. We’re all happy about it. 189 “We don’t quite know what to think about what happened to Sayuri-san, but Oai-san, who brought her up, said she was connected to the old estate of your family. It’s said that your great grandmother Nazuna—no, she must’ve been your great-greatgrandmother—she brought up Oai-san. It’s an old, old story but it’s said that the baby Oai was not the child of a human, but of the Lord of Amazoko.” The elderly priest interrupted abruptly. “Now don’t start nonsense like that. How could she be anything but a human’s child? This sort of thing is the way women are always causing trouble.” “I really have no idea whose child Oai was or where she came from. I still wonder about it. And Sayuri-san too; she was the orphaned child of a woman who fell by the roadside.” “Well that’s just what this temple is for. The Aso family took care of the child in place of us. We’re the ones who were taught the Providence of the Buddha. Now we can carry out a small act in return.” The young priest, who had been nodding with the sleeves of his kimono folded across his body as he listened to the stories of his parents, now relaxed his arms and expressed a smile of relief. “As you’ve heard, you are most welcome to stay here as long you need to. And your biwa, I’ve been wondering about that. Do you play it?” When Masahiko told them of his grandfather’s having a biwa made from the mulberry tree of the old estate, the family of the priest, including the young wife who was waiting behind them, gasped all at once. “But I know almost nothing about the old estate.” At that, from the back of the room, the elder priest’s plump wife called out in a faint voice and reached out with one hand as if holding on to something. CHAPTER 3 190 MOONSHADOW BRIDGE “Ah yes, there were a lot of mulberry trees around there. It was called the Silk Estate. And there was a very nice spring there too. When I first came here as a young bride I visited the house. I was given some mulberries and I drank the water there too. There was one big mulberry tree there by the well. Was the biwa you brought with you possibly made from that mulberry tree?” Masahiko, feeling as if he’d been asked by the family to show it to them, stood up. As he walked along the finely built porch—thinking of how it probably was made of wood taken from the mountains at the time when Mikihiko lived—he recalled something about his grandfather Masahito and about the house in Nakano. He had been a man of few words. But although his words had been few, now they came back to life in Masahiko’s ears with deep resonance. It struck him how his grandfather had belonged to the same world as the people who had been telling their stories back at the crematorium. His grandfather’s attempting to return to the village that had been taken from him was similar to these people’s way of returning in dreams with a clarity of feeling exceeding even what they had felt in the days past. No one else in his family had noticed that. It seemed that his old lost village must have been separated from the rest of the world and remained as a pure unmixed stratum of the older world. At the time the girl they called Oai was a baby it had been feared that she might not be the child of a human. According the dreams of Oshizu and Ohina, the guardian spirit of the village, who was said to be able to change into the form of a giant snake, had transformed his body into the Moonshadow hanging bridge. He had dropped a woman pilgrim who had been carrying a baby into the ravine, and then he had made himself into a cradle and rocked the baby. Normally he would 191 stay sleeping way off in the stalactite cave of Isara River, but on occasion he would venture out and take on the form of the suspension bridge. There he would check on the people coming and going to the village. Occasionally he would find a stranger from the world beyond and make a sacrificial offering of that person. This person called Nazuna-san—they say she’s my greatgreat-grandmother, but this is the first I’ve ever heard of her. My grandfather Masahito never mentioned a thing to me about a baby whom the villagers had feared and who had been rescued and brought up there. What sort of taboo could have kept my grandfather from telling me of it? Masahiko remembered something. That time in the car, on the way to the mental institution. His grandfather’s words had been called out in a low, sorrow-stricken voice. So that must have been what he was talking about. “Masahiko! The string of the biwa has snapped. It’s over now. It’s no use. Just shove me in.” He must have been thinking of what happened during the war in Okinawa. Every time they passed a car on the expressway he had called out in a low voice. “There goes one! Blasting away,” he’d muttered. And the thundering, rumbling sound of the cars and trucks on the highway came swirling around in his head. “Go on Japan, blow yourself to bits. Blow yourself up. Go on, and blast yourself away. It’s okay, just go ahead. The string of the biwa of Moonshadow Bridge . . .” He clearly recalled those orders his grandfather had called out. “The enemy ships are filling the sea off Shinagawa. The capital’s been completely surrounded!” Suddenly Masahiko’s eyes filled with tears. Now he understood the meaning of the enemy his grandfather had been CHAPTER 3 192 MOONSHADOW BRIDGE talking about. And that one string that had never been sounded—it signified all that had held his grandfather connected to the world that had been taken from him. “Won’t you look after the biwa?” One hot summer day when his mother was away from the house Masahiko had been watching his grandfather, who seemed to be in an unusually carefree mood as he tended his collection of potted trees. Watching him, Masahiko got the urge to try and tune the old biwa. He brought it out to the porch and tried plucking on it, in the same way one would play on a guitar. His grandfather stood up and turned around. “That’s not a bad sound.” With his pruning shears still in his left hand his grandfather squinted his eyes. “Oh come on, it’s no good.” “Beginners can’t expect great sounds at the start.” “It’s the air here. It ruins the condition of the strings.” He had spoken half in joke. The sound he’d made could hardly be called musical. “You think so too?” Judging from the serious response, Masahiko got the feeling that his grandfather had taken his vague feelings to heart. “Well you’re probably right. It’s partly because I don’t know how to finger it, but also somehow the noises of the city twine around the strings like dust.” “Right. I feel it in the pores of my skin even. It’s hard to breathe. It’s no good.” “Would it help if I tried changing the strings?” “You could try changing them, but the quality of the strings these days has really gone down. It’s the silk strings of silkworms. Both the silkworms and the mulberry leaves, they don’t grow well any more.” 193 As his grandfather was speaking the thin string that Masahiko had been touching suddenly broke and fell without even a sound. “Ah, it’s broken.” “. . . broken, is it? Well it’s been there for so long no wonder it’s snapped now. I wouldn’t worry about it. They have them at the music stores.” “I’m sorry about it, Grandfather.” “That’s all right. It was time to change it. Better to play it with new strings. If the player calls out to the string and speaks to it while playing, the string will start to sing. The string is waiting to sing.” “Sure, that’s what a really great player might say. But how can a beginner expect something like that—speaking with the string?” “You have to try it, with that spirit.” “Well in any case, that’s a nice way to put it; the string is waiting to sing.” “Those aren’t my words. A master back in the old days used to say that.” “When you say the ‘old days,’ you mean the days in Amazoko?” “Right. There was a great player who used to come over Moonshadow Bridge and stay in town for a month or so. That’s the one who said it.” “Was it a man?” “He was a blind man.” “A person who can’t see must be able to exist in the midst of sound.” “I imagine a blind person’s world of sound must be completely different from that of people who can see. That great player, when he crossed over Moonshadow Bridge and announced his greetings to the village, first he played the climax to the Tale of the Heike.” CHAPTER 3 194 MOONSHADOW BRIDGE “Really? He must have been quite a player.” “Well in those days the level of not only the players, but also of the listeners too was high. Even though they didn’t go to school they remembered and recited the Tale of the Heike.” “Was Amazoko that kind of village?” “It certainly was. Most people could hear things very far away. Even though the sounds of that master player were gentle, people could hear it from far off. Why, for Mizumaro-san, people would drop their hoes and axes and come running to greet him. They said you had to be quick in going to make your greetings.” “You mean the villagers went to greet him?” “Well, since he was blind they didn’t want him to fall into the ravine, did they? And then too, going quickly also meant stopping work and getting to listen. “Part of the attraction of the biwa is that it’s accompanied by story telling. “The stories were incredible. You couldn’t tell whether it was the sound of the mountains or the sound of the winds that was speaking.” “Did you learn them from Mizumaro-san?” Talking like this seemed to cause him pain. His grandfather’s right hand was part of an artificial limb. His arm had been blown off from the elbow in the Okinawa battle. “Well, you could say I learned them, but . . .” His grandfather thrust his false arm in front of his body again and stared at it. Masahiko looked away. The material of the hand had been made to approximate the look of human skin, yet somehow it looked more garish than the skin of a real hand. “If you touch those strings, my fingers will be moving together with them. The tips of my missing fingers will be touching the strings.” 195 “Missing fingers—touching the strings?” “That’s what I said. My fingers will be touching them.” Masahiko looked carefully at the yellow skin of the artificial hand. “I’ve liked the sound of strings from way back. Especially the biwa.” The grandfather broke into a faint but peaceful smile. “I’m going to leave this biwa to you. You want to give it a try?” These had been his words at the time. Gradually he had started into the story of how at the time he had left the village, for the sake of being able to take a keepsake of his ancestors he had ordered a big mulberry tree cut down and had an expert biwa maker from Hakata build him an instrument from it. The maker told him that he’d never seen such fine wood for a biwa and that he probably would never see such wood again. “The mulberry will be happy if you play it. It’s the only thing left from Amazoko now.” His tone of voice changed and he turned around. His expression was hard to see in the back lighting. So it seemed that this biwa was his only physical reminder left from Amazoko. The last thing his grandfather had spoken of was “the sound of the string.” Hadn’t old Chiyomatsu-san spoken of that sound of strings as the “pathway of dreams”? The villagers all remembered well how Oai-san in her older days had delivered babies one after another. And in their dreams, it seemed, they still met from time to time. And the story of Nazuna had come down as a legend. If his mother Machiko were to hear such tales, what would she think? No doubt they would represent to her just the sort of rural ignorance she disliked so much. In her wish to dissociate herself from this sort of world she had made a point of CHAPTER 3 196 MOONSHADOW BRIDGE associating with people of “dignified standing.” Her involvement in the fashionable Mission School class reunion had helped her to polish the social credentials on which she prided herself. She had fallen in love with Kiyohiko years ago when he was young, but even now she still thought of his countryside past and his grandfather as a drawback. She pointed with particular pride to her retired father’s career in the diplomatic service. At one time he had been sent to investigate a rubber plantation in Malaysia. It was there, at her father’s place during her university summer vacation, that they had met. Even when his mother was entertaining guests Masahito had made no attempt to hide his rural dialect. At one such time Machiko had said to her women friends, “His dialect comes from the Kumaso, an ancient tribe in Kyushu. His lineage goes way back. As for myself, when I was young I traveled around the world with my father to foreign countries. When I first heard the coarse dialect of those natives I had trouble understanding what he was saying.” Masahiko had been in his second year of junior high school. He could remember how his ears flushed with blood. And even his mild-mannered father Kiyohiko hadn’t been able to ignore such words from his wife. What Masahiko’s mother had said at that time—things he couldn’t talk about to anyone—had festered in his heart like poison. Words like “those natives”—whether they had been applied just to his grandfather’s former hometown or to any other place—could only be considered insulting. If his mother Machiko were to learn that his father’s ancestry included people like Nazuna—a woman who had taken in a baby that had been brought to her by the guardian god of the village—a god who could take on the form of a snake—and if she had known that the family still had associations with the people from the village at the bottom of the lake, she would surely have shuddered in disgust. 197 Masahiko felt as if now, twenty-three years after his birth, he had become like Kappei the crab in Oshizu’s dream—the dream she had told to the people at the crematory. The outer covering of his feelings was like the shell of a crab that had been split all the way from the bridge of its nose and eyes to the tips of its claws and then shed. He felt as if he were standing defenseless in the warm bed of a river, moving about with his body and soul exposed, softer even than when he was an infant, feeling his finger playing about in the water unconsciously. n Unexpectedly feeling as if he were about to break into tears, Masahiko opened his eyes wide and stared off into the darkness inquiringly. He’d been feeling that way since the night before. He found himself awake, sitting up in his futon bedding. In waking, the cat that had been sleeping by his feet and now looked as if it had been pushed away stared blankly at Masahiko and then came up to the hem of the blanket and curled itself up. Probably it was one of the temple’s cats. Even when it came close it seemed to check for danger before moving in. It was said that the day before, when the young wife came into the room with the vacuum cleaner, this cat had glanced at the nozzle and jumped up with a yell and then jumped again a full two yards to the side. Last night when she had spoken of how that cat didn’t get along with her—and especially with the vacuum cleaner—it had sent the whole family into laughter. Now he had already stayed two nights at the temple. He had a feeling he might be staying there a while longer. Last night after he returned from the cremation place the family at the temple had urged him repeatedly to stay with them. CHAPTER 3 198 MOONSHADOW BRIDGE “How fortunate your timing was. The guest room is empty now. Most of the wood for this room came from your family’s mountains. We take good care of it and whenever we have a big funeral and priests come from distant temples to assist they always praise this room. It’s done in a plain fashion, yet they always say that places built solidly in the old style make for better dreams. “Until now no one from the old Silk Estate has stayed here and so now that you’ve come back at long last, everyone in the house is delighted.” Before the elder priest had finished speaking his wife, seated by his side and nodding as she listened, raised her head. “You know, if no one lives in a house it soon goes to rot and ruin. It’s strange, but it’s true. And now, thanks to having a young person here, the room has become young again too.” Checking to see if her way of speaking had been appropriate or not, she glanced at her husband. “Isn’t that right? The guest room must be pleased at having a young person stay in it.” “And I’ve been giving it a good cleaning, as well.” The young wife added this from behind. Her voice had a smoothness that was completely changed from the way it had sounded the day before at the funeral. He had felt there was no reason to refuse their offer. Such strange, unimaginable things were continuing to happen. He’d come to this town, along with his biwa and the old sleeping bag from his school mountain club days, just planning to take care of his grandfather’s bones and then either find a cheap inn or, if it was still warm enough, to sleep out in the open. Since his grandfather’s death he’d been feeling an urge to get moving. He had been hoping to come up with something to bring his life and music together but he kept running up 199 against a conflict that kept them apart. He’d tried his hand at music theory, but every time he tried that route it seemed it didn’t lead to good music. It seemed that the sound he was really searching for would have to come from some other place. Since his grandfather died, the colors he saw wherever he looked as he walked about the city—not only in the buildings but also in the advertisements and in people’s clothes and even in the books in the bookshops—had seemed far too glaring. It was as if paintbrushes loaded with gaudy colors were waiting on the sides of the street, ready to paint everyone who passed by in a jumble of color. Masahiko had the feeling that his eardrums must be especially weak. The way the sounds of the city just poured in through the pores of his body seemed to indicate that there was some problem with his ears. Once when the election-time trucks that blared out their amplified appeals in ear-splitting barrages came around he had even sought escape in an amusement park. Waiting under a trellis of wisteria until the assault from the loudspeakers passed he thought he heard, behind him, the clear tone of a young child. He turned around to look and saw three or four clumps of wisteria blossoms hanging down, but there was no person in sight. At the time, he’d thought it must have been a lone child singing, unaware that this world was falling apart. Even with my damaged ears—he’d thought—I heard it. Was it just an auditory hallucination? Even if that were so, it seemed that the rebirth of that voice was essential to the existence of people’s songs. Thinking about this as he rode the trains and gazed at the expressions in the eyes of the young people and heard them laughing raucously he felt, with a sense of anxiety, as if his eardrums were being pulled from his inner ear and trampled beneath people’s shoes. When he heard the homogenized pronunciations of people of his generation it seemed as if they CHAPTER 3 200 MOONSHADOW BRIDGE were creating reproductions of the people around them and talking to them in order to hide and protect their real selves from being destroyed. It seems I’m not the only one feeling this anxiety. It’s as if, amidst all the virtual reality we’re living in, and by treating everything as if it’s part of a sort of pseudoexistence, we’re trying to protect ourselves from being destroyed. The other day I saw a girl who looked like she was hiding the same sort of things that I was. She was sitting in the train, across from me, with her eyes cast downward and her legs held together and she didn’t look up even once. On her lap was a small bluish-colored handbag with an elephant embroidered on it. The train was swaying and each time the handbag started to slip down she grabbed the elephant and pulled it back up onto her lap. Since it was an elephant it looked as if it should be very heavy—yet the girl had slender arms that stuck out from her white short-sleeved blouse. For how many years had this girl been taking care of this elephant on her handbag? At night, did two people sleep inside that bag? If she had an unavoidable errand and had to take it out into the city it could pose a big problem. The city was filled with things that frightened elephants. The girl showed no other response at all, other than caring for her elephant. Her facial color looked a bit greenish. Could she have been a tree spirit? In the old days this area was said to have been a part of the Musashino Plain, so could it be that the spirits of its ancient trees still rose up and wandered about amidst the darkness around the land beneath the elevated railways—and got onto the trains? Not reacting even in the slightest to her surroundings, and appearing thoroughly buried within the deep cave of herself, she seemed far removed from the world of humans. But then, that couldn’t have been so—what made me think a thing like 201 that? Perhaps in that bag with the elephant she had a ticket to the concert of some bleached-hair singer. If she were in the light of the blue and pink lasers of a concert, probably she would have gotten up immediately and started dancing and running about. That elephant on her handbag must have been a pet that she took for walks. And while I was thinking about this she looked up, as if she’d been scared by something. Masahiko was flustered. Perhaps she took me for some sort of kidnapper. And if I look deep enough into my soul can I really say I wasn’t thinking such things? I must be really strange. She’s just an ordinary girl with nothing special about her. Probably this girl, like everyone else, is making a copy of herself for her own protection and leading this copy around the city. They’re sealing themselves off from the true selves they’d had from the oldest of times. I turned my eyes away from the elephant, glanced down at her navy blue sneakers and then looked over at a businessman. It seemed as if I were being silently blamed by another being who was her true self. For just an instant our eyes met. Hers was the look of a wild beast surprised by something. She got up as if her whole body movement were expressing her surprise and then quickly she got off the train. I ended up riding three stations past my stop. That morning the mood at the breakfast table had been worse than usual. It was the first week after his grandfather’s death had passed and his father Kiyohiko was still taking time off from work. “Grandfather’s real wish was to return to his home in the country.” “That’s not the impression I got.” Kiyohiko had answered his wife vaguely, opening the newspaper that he hadn’t been able read owing to all the confusion of the week following the funeral. CHAPTER 3 202 MOONSHADOW BRIDGE “With all those country folks here, that was quite some local talk we were treated to.” There really hadn’t been many of Masahito’s relatives present at the funeral, yet she had made a point of referring to them. Kiyohiko made no reply. There was just the dry sound of the turning of the pages of his newspaper. “‘Moonshadow Bridge, Moonshadow Bridge,’—that’s what he said just before he died, according to the nurses. It was like a line from some play, it seems.” The sound of turning pages continued for a while. “Was it really such a special place, as he claimed?” “Well, I . . .” “You’ve been there, haven’t you?” “I couldn’t very well have been there, could I? It was flooded by the dam.” “So it’s at the bottom of the dam? Well anyway, it doesn’t matter much.” “Then don’t ask about things that don’t matter.” “When you talk that way you sound just like Grandfather.” Masahiko’s father put down the newspaper and tried to light the cigarette lighter. It didn’t catch and an empty sound hung in the air. Whenever his mother Machiko said to Kiyohiko things like “those country people” or “you sound just like Grandfather,” her comments always carried an extra edge of meaning. It might have been that Kiyohiko had been getting home from work late at night, or that her pride had been hurt at an alumnae group meeting, or such. Machiko would often say such things as, “Alumnae meetings are such a bother. I’m not going to any more of them.” The rest of the family would show no reaction. But when she said, “I’m not going any more” it really meant “I guess I’ll go and see.” When she got home, Machiko would bring up a classmate’s name and without fail mention something like, “Her husband was posted overseas for a long time so she wears 203 all sorts of different things. She had on a necklace that looked rather different from what most Japanese would wear.” This was the kind of thing Machiko would talk about at breakfast on Sundays. Kiyohiko would make a clatter with the butter tray and take a big slab of butter and spread it on his toast. Machiko would say, “You know that’s no good for your health, don’t you?” and snatch up the butter dish without flinching. “What do you think I ended up wearing?” “I thought you said you were going to buy some fancy brand name thing for that meeting.” “I bought it, but didn’t wear it.” “Well what was the problem this time?” “I wore something my sister gave me. It was authentic, tailored in Paris.” “Is that something that people can readily tell—that it’s genuine, tailored in Paris?” “Certainly they know. They all have an eye for that kind of thing. These days you can see brand name clothes anywhere you go. They’re all discounted. They have no value, it seems. My sister’s was a Paris original, in a traditional style.” “Paris, Paris, for God’s sake will you stop going on about Paris. We’ve had enough of that already. You’re all just getting taken in by vanity.” “Well that’s rather rude of you, isn’t it? Right now I’m talking about the culture of fashion.” Masahiko’s elder brother, looking disgusted, broke into the discussion. “I’m going to have another cup of tea. I’ll get it myself. Don’t you think we could have a little higher level of discussion here? This is supposed to be our nice ‘morning conversation time,’ isn’t it? Seems to me those ladies in their perfume are a big pain it the ass.” CHAPTER 3 204 MOONSHADOW BRIDGE Masahiko, who hardly ever got involved in such conversations, added, “If you want to know the truth, that sort of woman depresses me. Even over the telephone they reek of perfume.” “Masahiko! You and your abnormal sensitivities again— smelling perfume over the phone. I guess that must stem from your grandfather’s blood.” Masahiko had been thinking he shouldn’t get caught in the discussion, but now it was too late. Looking at his mother gave him a miserable feeling. “Well now, isn’t this a fine morning. Why is it that I have to be insulted by everyone? Do you have any idea just how humiliated I’ve been on account of your grandfather?” These infrequent “morning discussions” had come to no good. Normally Kiyohiko was said to be quite proper in his manners, but now he made a loud noise in putting down the newspaper and then stood up, put on his jacket and went out. Machiko stood rooted at the spot, slowly clearing the breakfast things, and then after a while she spoke to the elder brother in an uneasy manner. “I wonder where he’s gone. The mourning notices—we have to write them you know. And your writing of Japanese characters is so poor. It’s enough to drive me crazy.” “Why is it you have to speak so badly about Grandfather? You know Father doesn’t want to hear it.” “But I’ve suffered so much humiliation. And from my own family too. I have to hear them talk about how that Grandfather was such a strange old man. And about how he was from the Kumaso tribe down south.” “Wouldn’t it be better to speak of him as coming from the Yamatai, the original people of Japan? “It certainly would not. Now just stop this foolishness.” Then Machiko spoke to Masahiko as if she were recovering her temper.

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